Dear friend, Hope all is well with you! Things here are the same. We try to remain positive but the days are long and sad. We had some news the other day. A very good friend in Germany saw a facebook post from our daughter and sent pictures to me with question marks saying I didnt know she was pregnant. Well neither did we !!!!. Within hours of the facebook post calls came flooding in with questions. When is she due what is she having??? Well how do you answer when you dont know. Lucky me my once best friend knew and was only to happy to call and let me know. Now that she posted it on facebook she guessed it was ok to tell me..... Who does that..? Well she is due in October I guess someone will let us know. And we understand its a boy. Another well meaning friend saw our son at walmart along with the grandson we have never seen. She didnt want to tell me because she knew it would upset me. Well guess what I live in a state of upset my 3 adult kids havent spoken to us in over a year. Ive seen death row inmates who committed murder get shorter more lenient sentences than us.
Our youngest mean while lost her first baby tooth day before yesterday. The tooth fairy came and brought her a gold dollar. She was over the moon happy . She struggled to let that tooth go for days it hung in her moth by a thread. She kept asking what happens when its out, will it bleed ,can I keep it, when does a new tooth grow in. We post picture on facebook hoping the others will see it and know how their sister is doing but not one of them responds to her ever. She asks daily who liked it.We know she misses them but what can we do. A couple of weeks ago she ask me if I remember when she was sick last year and took that long nap on the couch. And if I remembered when the police came but didnt arrest us on your birthday ? I do remamber. How can I ever forget her being interigated when she had a fever of 103 by strangers in her own home. She is a fearful child she worries about things more than most kids. I cant imagine what goes on in her head. We have allways kept a very close eye on her but since then even closer.It seems like none of us will ever be the same.
So we go forward never knowing what tomorrow will bring. We hope for the best but are allways on the lookout for more sadness. Nothing will ever be the same. But we have hope for the future that God has promised. We start Fall soccer this week and I have several Quilt projects Im working on. My husband has been promoted to sports editor of the local paper. and Fall is in the air. I think a trip to the apple orchard is on my list of fall activites to do very soon. The cool crisp air reminds me of the past. Back to school, halloween costumes, apple cider and the colors of the leaves like the most amazing rainbow without the rain. It reminds me of dieing to ones self and the renewal that comes after a long cold winter. I hope every day brings our family back together but mostly I know thats not ever going to happen. Forgivness will not come for us. So we Pray and we hope and we move forward in life because we have no choice. It moves on with or without us.
Once again thanks for listening. Its so easy to talk to you. I know you are allways there and I get great comfort from that.
With much love, Me
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